Today’s devotion on the theme of Pastor’s Relationships is by Donald Miller

I’m noticing a common characteristic of healthy families. The characteristic is this: kids with parents who are honest about their shortcomings seem to do better in life. What I mean is parents who aren’t trying to be perfect or pretend they’re perfect have kids who trust and respect them more. It’s as though vulnerability and openness act as the soil that fosters security. And I’d say that’s the quality I most often sense in the children of honest, open parents. I sense security.

Sadly, I’ve noticed the opposite is true too. I’ve noticed parents who don’t admit their faults have children who are troubled and emotionally restless as though they secretly want to be free from their families so they can be themselves.

Of course, there’s no sure predictor of whether or not kids will do okay in life. There are too many variables. But I believe vulnerability in parenting increases the chance a kid will grow up to become healthy and content in life.

If you think about it, parents who are open and honest with their kids create an environment in which children are allowed to be human. And, sadly, parents who hide their flaws unknowingly create an environment where kids feel the need to hide. And feeling the need to hide our true selves from the world is rarely healthy.

Some of the most troubled people I know were raised in fundamentalist environments with parents who felt the need to act more righteous than they were. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a person from a legalistic family who didn’t struggle. Environments in which we are encouraged to hide our faults are toxic.